Cirque du Soleil, if you haven’t seen it, is what a gay French dude sees in his head when he’s tired and horny. There’s a naked guy on a trapeze with his dick flying around, a hedgehog with a boner on a tricycle, and three clowns are jerking off on a goat. I don’t know what the fuck is going on. Everything in Cirque du Soleil is wet and French and gay and on fire at the same time. The crowd was nothing but red state, pro-Bush, solid American citizens giving standing ovations to the gayest thing I have ever seen in my life. The fact that we don’t have gay marriage in this country is insane. It’s like, ‘Hey, do you mind if me and my life partner put on tuxedos and kiss and pledge eternal love?’ ‘Fuck you faggots!’ ‘Um, how about I blow him on a tightrope?’ ‘Awesome! Can we bring our kids?’

- Patton Oswalt

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Source: thelesbiannun

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